Friday, August 16, 2013

These days

Ya know there is something to be said about being a stay at home mom. But no one can ever really prepAre you for what is to come. You start off getting married. Joining lives with someone your in love with and soon see all the things that bug the crap out of you and you think at least a dozen times that first year, "what the $&@! Did I get myself into?" But knowing you wouldn't have it any other way. Those things start to melt away in the cracks and the real love comes into play. Hard work.
Then comes parenthood. The most amazing yet hard thing you'll ever do in life. Something I longed for since I was little. Not ever thinking that I would be complaining to my mother about the terrible things my kids do and I'm sure she is laughing on the other end of the phone. Those moments when I get to call on my mommy and be her friend in a whole other way. You go every day thinking "what are we going to do today?" With a huff looking at your whole house with an array of small toys peeking out of places only a 19 month old would think of. There are moments (many) I wish I was alone for at least a few hours. To do the things I want to do. Then I'm reminded I am doing what I want to do. I chose this. I chose to color for an hour with my 5 year old today. I chose to run through the sprinkler with my clothes on. It's a battle of good and evil. Every day I can feel the adversary pull at me with little thoughts or feelings but then miracles happen immediately after. There is nothing like seeing your little boys face when he hears an airplane in the sky and those fat cheeks and teeth, the shape they make one excitement. Or when your 3 year old wakes up from her nap asking to go to target and get some turkey. The little things you can't replace not being home. I'm glad I'm here. I'm glad I chose my life.

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